The Egos Have Landed

Did you hear that big thump? It was that loud sound of something hitting the ground very hard. It was the egos landing, face first, at your local law school. In this country, after the holidays we don't just have the major sales, we have the "Handing Out of the Law School Grades". It happens right after New Year and almost immediately after your student loan check clears the school account. Translate -- they have you locked for another semester of intellectual fun.

The administrators conveniently schedule it around the completion of the first week of classes and usually when you are with other people. With only a fixed amount of people getting As no matter how smart or how well the rest of you are, there are going to be a good deal of disappointed legal scholars. And thats when you hear it -- THUMP. The egos of the former 4.0 students hits the ground, face first, and stays there checking to see if anyone saw them.

For if we learn nothing in the first year, its that your poker face is the best face to play in any situation. Thats what makes lawyers so trustworthy!!!! They always have that confident, unflappable look on their face. Legal Scholars everywhere develop this skill upon the receipt of the first grade. For when they look their "friends" directly in the eye and say, "I got an A-" they actually sound believable.

And you thought poker faces were just for Lady GaGa and the Vegas Strip? Drop by any law school and ask the students what they got -- when you hear this ENORMOUS amount of A's in the class, you know the people actually without the As are the ones you want representing you in a trial. Covering a bold face lie like that, especially after the truth just hit you in the gut like a teamster, takes skill. Retain that person now before the rest of the world figures it out.

The Finest Choice in Dining for Legal Scholars Everywhere.

On 11th night of December, blowing off my fifth Christmas party of the weekend, I am in the law library yet again, prepping for my finals. Just when I thought life could not be more grand, I decided to treat myself to a vending machine buffet!!!

This is living large in the law school lane.

The coke, btw, was confiscated by the Food Nazis in the library. I mean, years ago when people actually used the books, I think keeping food out of the library made sense. Now that the only thing the books provide is a sense of decor, maybe we can do away with the food rules. How am I going to spend 12 hours of my day in an unsavory section of Los Angeles any other way?

Apparently Libraries ARE for sleeping....

Day Three of OccupySouthwestern Library.

Let me explain.

It's not about Wall Street -- well not exactly, that would depend on the case. Its "Reading Days" which means that if you have to do all your reading on these days, you are screwed. It's a Sunday night and the library is actually full. The first years are Occupying the library in droves. Finals start on the 8th and panic and caffeine are everywhere. I just looked up from my outlines, mostly because my eyes are doing their own protest, to find the student across from me asleep. I am not appalled, but rather, very jealous. Anyone who can sleep on these hard chairs deserves at least a B. I mean, I have sat in my share of library chairs and these are designed by some S&M fetish freak.

Only 12 days left until we get "raided" and run for freedom. There is a case of tequila with my name all over it just waiting until the Crim exam is over.

Ah, the life of a 1L. And I paid for this.

If you thought the first three months were bad....

It's that time during your first semester as a law student that you suddenly realize you have a choice to make. Take some much needed rest and finally look like a human again (for a little while anyways), or prep for exams. It's time to get to know very intimately that term you heard so much about this entire semester called outlines. Apparently they weren't' some fictional character like the tooth fairy. If only. Outlines are the ways law students digest their entire semester worth of materials into an easy to refer to format to study from. However, outlines also are something that should have been taken care of all semester and to pull them off over Thanksgiving break is nothing short of the educational equivalent of scoring that $99 flat screen TV at WalMart at 4am.

Wish me luck. My dignity already left months ago. My eyesight is on its way out. I think the next thing left is basic hygiene. Great.

I would strongly suggest staying away from any law school exam rooms --- we might be used to it by now -- but like the rest of law school, its not for the faint of heart.